ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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