If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize