good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
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I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
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Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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