Christians are straight up FREAKS
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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