Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize