We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
