It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
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