i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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