But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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