Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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