I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
