Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
