you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Randomize