Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
