Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Randomize
