This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
