I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
