I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
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