I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
