VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize
