thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
