thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
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