I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
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