Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize