Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
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