I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
