Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
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