Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
