I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Randomize
