Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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