I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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