TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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