Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
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