she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
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