Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
