oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
