Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Randomize
