The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Randomize
