You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
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