living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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