its not stalking. its research.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Holy sore nipples Batman
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize
