I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize