And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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