How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize