Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Of course I have a pirate flag
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
