I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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