I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize