i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
