I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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