That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
