Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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