he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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