If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Randomize
