ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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