my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Randomize
