why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
