u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
