this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
