My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Randomize
