i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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