Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
