found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Randomize
