Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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