Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize