I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Randomize
